Who drives a Belvedere? We do.

The Hipstamatic shots...

2011-03-27T10:07:00.000-07:00

Misc pics and video from the race...

2011-03-27T09:34:00.000-07:00

Adrian races first.

Jesse's truck that goes boom.
(Cause Tigre and Bunny, they like the boom)

(Moderator apologizes for lack of boom in the video.

It does go boom, you'll have to take our word for it.)

There was a toilet float at the end of this tube before the race started.

Fearing the float would fall off, it was replaced with a wee baby.

Don't piss this team off!

(Moderator's note: Go get 'em girls!)

A bit of harmless fun in the penalty area.

Judge Phil's nephew learns to spray paint as he assists Judge Phil with a penalty,

the perps get Fart spray painted on their car.

Let's hope they've learned their lesson.

A spot of bother during Saturday's racing...

2011-03-27T09:12:00.000-07:00

Alan decided to teach a daisy covered track barrier who was boss and received a couple of small dents in the process.

So the guys quickly went to work repairing it...

Then Patrick had a snack...

A short time and a few hammer swings later, good as new!
Or as was said at the time, as good as it had been.

The race continued and a new enterprise may have been born.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

2011-03-17T11:23:00.000-07:00

St. Patrick wishes you a safe and sane day!

Suavé

2011-03-12T13:04:00.000-08:00

A quick update...

2011-03-11T12:30:00.000-08:00

Since the blog hasn't been updated in a while, here are a few highlights from the last year or so.

The Faster Farms team made appearances at the Alameda Car Show ...

the Concours d'Lemons in Monterey...

and at the Mopar Alley Car Show and Swap Meet.

The Faster Farms Team Rubs Elbows With Celebrity!

2011-03-11T12:06:00.001-08:00

Steve Sanders! THE Steve Sanders!

Ian Ziering and his team of Mazdarachi's were pit neighbors at last year's race and he was cool enough to pose for a pic.

Sears Pointless

2011-03-11T11:11:00.000-08:00

Faster Farms will be hitting the track at the 24 Hours of Lemons' upcoming Sears Pointless event March 25-27th at Infineon Raceway. They may crack the top 30, you wouldn't want to miss that would ya? Go and support your local chickens!

And we're back!

2011-03-11T11:05:00.000-08:00

We've shamefully ignored this blog and for this we sincerely apologize! But the good news is we've hired a sexy new assistant to work on this for us

so updates should start coming fast and furious. Or at least occasionally, we'll see how it goes.

All hail the return of the Chickens!

Pimpin' The Tee Shirts.

2009-01-03T10:44:00.001-08:00

A limited number of our fine, 100% cotton, team tee shirts are available on ebay.
Help us re-"coop" some of the money we foolishly threw at this crap can of a car. We probably won't be in either the Reno or Buttonwillow race, but we will be back at Thunderhill next year. Any money we make on this deal will be thrown back at the car.

We're Number One!

2009-01-01T10:58:00.000-08:00

Autofiends' Jonny Lieberman thinks we're the bee's knees. Thanks Jonny, we like you too. Here's the link to the page that we appear on: Thunderhill LeMons: The 20 Coolest Cars of Arse-Freeze-Apalooza, but back up and read the whole article. All the cars are interesting.

More autofiends LeMons coverage: Here.

It's A Major Award.

2008-12-30T05:46:00.000-08:00

Even though I shamefully rolled the car, and kept us from finishing the race, there was some consolation. Our Hillbilly Wing won us the prestigious Unsafe Banned Technology award!

Pictures coming as soon as I can find them.

Sunday.

2008-12-29T03:51:00.000-08:00

Patrick starts the day with some very fast laps. The passenger is happy.

Pat continues to pilot the beast for about an hour before getting black flagged. It's our first offense for the weekend, so the judges go easy on us. Penalty: Driver change and back on the track.

Next up is Mike who also turns in some fast laps before also being black flagged. The passenger is no longer happy, but more importantly, the judges are mad as hell.

Penalty: The whole team is tied together and must walk the length of the entire paddock and back wrapped in caution tape to display our shame.

After the shaming, a driver change was required. My turn. Back on the track. I'm instructed by my teammates to take it easy. This is an easy assignment. I'm doing it. Taking it easy. Until I spin and flip the car (yes that's right) in the exit of turn one. The driver behind me noted the brand of muffler we were using as I presented the soft underbelly of the beast while in mid-air. I landed right side up and was groping around for the start button when Shawn called on the radio to ask if I was OK. More groping around, this time for the radio microphone. Yes I'm fine. Yes yes wait for the safety crew. I guess I'm done.

Thanks to the engineers at Chrysler and also to Mike Maier for building a stout roll cage.

I'm given a lift back to the pit and the car is towed in. There is minimal damage. Two flat tires and a scraping fan shroud. All is fixed in short order.

The judges say we can't go back out. We are banned for the rest of the season (three days). Their word is final. More shame. Sorry, team.

The passenger is sad.

On the bright side, I am relatively undamaged and so is the car. Mike drove the car 150 miles home last night without incident.

All in all, not a bad weekend.

More later.

For coverage of the event go to Jalopnik.

Saturday.

2008-12-28T20:39:00.000-08:00

Saturday was great, Thunderhill Raceway is a beautiful track with some tricky turns. The organizer makes sure that the track is suitable for both seasoned drivers and the numerous beginners. Chicanes are added too keep the top speeds down to about 70-80 MPH.

All of the team took a turn at the wheel. We all stayed out about an hour.

Patrick First.

Then Mike.

My Turn.

Adrian.

Al.

Last, But Most Fastest, Shawn.

Made it look effortless.

Inspection.

2008-12-26T21:04:00.001-08:00

The chickens were a little nervous.

To be honest, so were we.

Sigh of relief.

Everything worked out well.

Penalty laps = zero! Hurrah.

Now it's time to practice. More later.

Not Your Average Kids In The Hall.

2008-12-26T19:20:00.000-08:00

We arrive at Thunderhill Raceway early in the morning. Couldn't resist this photo.

Tech Inspection and Bullshit Inspection later.

Good Morning?

2008-12-26T02:50:00.000-08:00

Headed for Thunderhill Raceway Park. It's very early. Will post more later. Yawn.

Downforce II.

2008-12-19T06:47:00.000-08:00

The hillbilly wing is finished. Check it out.

Sound Effects.

2008-12-19T06:38:00.000-08:00

Just for fun.

How about that?

Put A Tigger In Your Tank!

2008-12-16T19:58:00.001-08:00

Relocating the fuel filler to a less crash prone area seems like a good idea.

It also leaves room for an additional passenger. Have a nice ride Tigger!!!

The Hillbilly Wing.

2008-12-13T14:58:00.001-08:00

Step one complete.

Now if only I could find some springs and a bowling ball.

When finished, the wing will change its angle when cornering, accelerating, and braking.

Yes, it's an ironing board.

Roll Cage Etc.

2008-11-17T03:34:00.000-08:00

I've been a lazy bastard for the last couple of weeks, but the car's been busy. The roll cage has been installed by Mike Maier Racing. It's a beautiful job. Thanks Mike!

A junkyard obtained floor shifter went in also. Nice shift knob.

There's lots left to do and race weekend is coming up soon.

Still left to do:
Install ironing board wing.
More wiring upgrades.
Transmission cooler.
Power steering cooler.
Wink mirror.
Passenger seat (maybe).
Hook up fancy new shifter.
Rebuild carburetor.
Make firewall between fuel tank and driver compartment.
Try to make all the gauges work.
Install CB radio.

The clock is ticking.

Getting With The Program.

2008-10-25T08:28:00.001-07:00

I'm 10% fresh. He's 90% natural.

Downforce.

2008-10-24T12:11:00.000-07:00

Q: How do you get downforce an a budget?
A: The hillbilly wing.

Yup, this sweet baby is goin' on the back of the Belvedere. It's made of the finest foundinagarbagecan vintage ironing board filled with job-site scrounged plywood and bolts. I'm still on the lookout for some kind of bracket and maybe a paisley ironing board cover.

One Gallon, One Roller, One Awesome Machine.

2008-10-22T04:25:00.000-07:00

The days when Earl Sheib would "paint any car for $29.95" are gone, although that's about what our budget is. Adrian's answer: Cheap semi-gloss house paint in the lovely shade of "wild blue yonder", a roller, a brush, and an afternoon.

I hope that's exterior paint.

As seen on TV.

Thanks Adrian.

Seeing Straight.

2008-10-19T04:45:00.000-07:00

Looks pretty good from here. Still tracks straight. What could be wrong?

The bent frame becomes apparent when the new (came with car) fender is bolted on. The front right frame rail is bent upward about 2". How do we fix this? With a few turns on the right torsion bar.

Thank you Mopar for adjustable front suspension.

Team Logo?

2008-10-17T06:34:00.000-07:00

Look like anyone we know?

Man Triumphs Over Machine

2008-10-17T04:09:00.000-07:00

After ripping it out with his teeth, Shawn shows off his prize.
Race cars don't need heaters anyway.

Stopping Is Good.

2008-10-17T03:18:00.000-07:00

Four wheel drum brakes just ain't good enough to stop this mighty pile of scrap metal. Front discs are what's called for. Fortunately for us, the brakes from '70s A-bodies with some extra parts from '70s B-bodies will fit right in.

Before surgery.

Caliper + Face = Bloody Face.

Almost done.

Finishing up.

After party.

All in all, a weekend well spent.

Patrick And Mike

2008-10-17T03:16:00.001-07:00

A Closer Look/ Spare Parts

2008-10-15T18:50:00.001-07:00

At least the right turn signal works.

Nothing a little Bondo won't fix.

Found on road dead?

2008-10-15T18:35:00.000-07:00

This poor beast sideswiped a truck and was later abandoned. Adrian swooped in and saved her from the tow truck, and probably the wrecking ball.

The car was perfect (i.e. free) for the 24 Hours of Lemons.

Thanks Adrian.

Just getting started...

2008-09-24T20:23:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the home of possible LeMons racing team "Team Chicken Chunks"! Or maybe that's Team Faster Farms. They have been called Team Belvedere in the past but I don't think they're sticking with moniker. Well, they haven't exactly nailed down that minor little detail yet but you can bet your backside that when they do it will be chicken related and wicked clever!